I read it so you don't have to Twilight edition...FINALE part three

Instead of continuing to complain about Twilight, I've decided to try a different tactic for the last third of the book. I will simply provide a synopsis and let you make your own decisions about the shenanigans...

So Eddie and Bells are in love. As of the end of their 2nd 'date' (the first being him forcing her to eat dinner after he saved her from being raped) they have professed their undying love for each other. Bells is now Eddie's 'life'.

True story.

After professions of love come the meeting of the families. So Bells is chillin' with the 'good' vamps and they are going to go play a familial game of baseball. Only, they have super human power so they have to play during thunderstorms because...wait for it...when they hit the ball it sounds like thunder.

Some 'bad' vamps hear the game and head over. After some posturing they realize a human is with them. Bad vamps want to chomp on Bells and are amused that the good vamps are protective of her. This makes them want to chomp on her more.

This cues red alert time. Bells has to say really mean things to her dad to 1. provide a guise for running away to safety and 2. protect him by leaving. Because Bells is a giver. As you will soon see. Eddie and the 'dad' vamp are going to hunt the bad guy vamp while Bells is whisked away.

All goes well until Bells gets a call. A private call. From the bad vamp saying he has her mom and she has to sneak away and come meet him.

Bells, apparently thinking she is Jack Bauer, thinks this is a good idea. Before flouncing off to her death, she writes Eddie a letter begging him not to avenge her death. You know, cause she is sacrificing herself because we wouldn't want the immortal being to get hurt.

Bells meets up with the bad vamp, realizes he never had her mom and he proceeds to beat the crap out of her. In her childhood dance studio no less. There is NO line this vamp won't cross. Honestly, is nothing sacred?

Good vamps show up and kill bad vamp but OH NO bad vamp has chomped on Bells. Eddie then chomps on Bells to suck out the venom (did I forget to mention that vamps are venomous if they only partly chomps on you?) and oh also get a little bitty taste of Bells.

Bells recovers and proceeds to obsessively try to persuade Eddie to turn her into a vamp. Eddie declines and then tricks her into going to prom. Because even vampires love prom. The book closes on them trading quips about Bells becoming a vampire. Bells is pro. Eddie is con.

...

You can draw your own conclusion, but I will also give you mine. While I think the reading of the Twilight series is fine for teenagers who need something to read, I refuse to believe that any adult with half a brain could possibly shut Twilight and think that was a great story. Unless, of course, they want to live their lives as if they are 13.

Then by all means shut the book and close your eyes as you rest your head on your Eddie pillow.

"He called you pretty. That's practically an insult, the way you look right now. You're much more than beautiful."
Eddie to Bells, prom jealous vamp style