When you choose Antartica over A. S. Byatt, it's time to throw in the towel

Guilt, for many, is a part of reading.

I'm starting a guilt-free reading movement.

I was once like the masses, telling myself I had invested time in this book, I was going to finish it if it was the last thing I did. Only, it probably would literally be the last thing I did because instead of reading I would just stare morosely at it.

I'm here to say: if you aren't feelin' a book, STOP READING IT.

It's OK. The book police won't snatch you up. Promise.

To make you feel better, here is what I've stopped reading lately:


Julie Powell - Julie and Julia
In this case I stretch the definition of reading. I attempted to listen to this book on CD as I couldn't bring myself to read it. My reasoning was that I love books about food (i.e. Kitchen, Little House in the Big Woods, Joy Luck Club). Unfortunately for Julie I couldn't finish even one CD. I have started listening to CD books to lull me off to sleep. Only Julie and Julia sends me into a rage of how such crap gets published and I quickly cut myself off. Interestingly, the book did make me want to go get some fun Julia Child facts for myself, so there's that.

Emma Darwin - A Secret Alchemy
I picked this book up because 1. Emma Darwin is Darwin Darwin's great-great-granddaughter...so that is cool, 2. alchemy is in the title and I find that idea intriguing, 3. the madre just read a book about alchemy, 4. I love books with family trees at the beginning, and 5. I like to try out books I've never heard of.

Unfortunately, this time all of those reasons backfired. I didn't make it past the first few pages. Historical fiction can be amazing, but when it goes wrong, it really goes wrong. I felt the conversations the women were having were putting modern day thought processes into another era. It creeped me, and so I had to stop.

Oh, and P.P.S. to your P.S. cover of the novel, I don't need insights, interviews, and more. I'm not a book club. And if I were a book club I could use my brain, not yours. Thanks

A. S. Byatt - The Children's Novel
I gave Byatt by far the most chance. I read 175 pages of her monolithic book. I'm actually kind of sad to see it go back to the libs as I could have used it as a weapon against intruders. I realize that meandering around is Byatt's 'thing' but SERIOUSLY COULD SHE GET TO THE POINT.

Now, if you are going to read a book that is almost 800 pages, you need to read the crap out of it. It is an investment. I found myself bargaining my reading. Excusing myself for not taking it on the bus because it was so big. Excusing myself for not reading it before I went to sleep because Alice Hoffman's The Third Angel is a nice story to listen to (that's lies, it isn't nice at all, it is awful, but the reader's voice is lovely). Finally, I excused myself from reading when it was next to my hand in favor of finishing an extremely annoying YAL book where an uncle experiments on a daughter, turns her deaf, kills the dad with poison because he was not on board with the daughter experiments, and absconds with the daughter to ANTARTICA because he thinks the Earth is hollow and they will be able to hang out there...

The Children's Book is going back to the libs with the rest of them. Besides, it kept stealing the covers at night.

madre: What's the other story where the dad experiments on the daughter.
me: Rappaccini's Daughter by Hawthorne. THAT was legit-ly awesome.