He said no, but his eyes said yes

Today, at lunch, I was reminded of my stalking days of yore. Erin and I were at TC where - gasp - there is no longer a Panera. So we were in the food court, which in and of itself is an experience. We were sitting there and Erin spoted this guy standing in line at the Subway. My first reaction was, is that Keanu Reeves (second KR reference in this blog - awesome)?

Standing firmly in line behind a team of girl basketball players was this guy, dressed head to toe in matrix-y black clothing (floor-length black coat, platform boots, and a monk/scarf/wrap thing), but gorgeous. Model gorgeous. I'm talking flowing locks, piercing blue eyes, chisled features. Was he the emo Jordan Catalano? Maybe.

Erin and I stopped gawking and left to run some errands. We then had some time to kill so headed back to the food court and there he (now in our heads named Leviticus Hawk) was, eating a vegetarian Subway sandwich, Baked Lays and water. So...it is possible that Erin and I then sat in his section and took some stealth photos with my phone? Maybe. It was just so strange to see such a beautiful/interesting person in the food court. We had to get documentation.

Oh, and just an FYI, what was under his coat and sahara enspired wrap? Sweatshirt, pants and leather/zipper skirt, yeah - skirt (all black).

Why am I telling you all this? 1) It is amusing. 2) To bring up the topic of stalking.

Were we stalking him? Possibly, but lightheartedly. Once he left the food court did we follow him? No. Did we follow him to his home? No. Did we steal his mail? No. Did we do other creepy things? No. We were just to girls being silly together. No harm no foul.

To my way of thinking, there are several levels of stalking, each with escalating inappropriatness:

1. Amateur: Blatant gawking. No one is harmed or even left awkward feeling. A light amusement. Example - Erin and I today.

2. Semi-pro: When you engage in "spying" activities you wouldn't want the spyee to know about. Example - You just start dating someone and you want to call, but don't want to waste your call if they aren't there because they have caller id and it is a whole big thing, so you drive by there house to see if their car is there.

3. Professional: When, after the stalking activities, the stalkee feels violated, unsafe, and scared. Example - When you think you are talking on the phone to one of your guy friends on a weekly basis, trickily late at night and on your land line so you think nothing of it when his voice sounds kind of weird, then one night he tells you he loves you and you laugh at him. Fast forward a week to when you see the person you thought you were talking to in person, bring it up, he looks at you like you are a crazy person. Fast forward a couple days, stalker guy calls again, you confront him by saying you will call him back on his cell, he freaks out and never calls again.

THAT is real stalking. And, sad to say, there is not much anyone can do to keep you safe from it. Sure, you can hold your keys in your hand and have a rape whistle. You can even take out a restraining order. But how do you protect yourself from feeling completely vulnerable and constantly unsafe? You can't.

"Love can save the weary heart, or it can tear us all apart. I would rather take that chance, than to never trust again."